Procrastination on a sunny day

25 04 2006

Hooray for public holidays! A whole day to laze around and think about doing my uni work. And blog. The frequency of blogging is directly proportional to the amount of work I have to do. If only I was studying maths or blogging and not social sciences.

I’ve been invited to a barbeque by a girl I work with, which will be a nice break from pretending to study. I’m nervous about going, seeing as I am, always was and always will be scared of other people. But it’s a lovely day for hanging out in the park and I’ve given myself an escape route, because I’m also meeting some people at a pub in the early afternoon. Which I’m also nervous about (cos secretly I’m timid), but less so as I know them a bit more. And because the bbq seems so scary, the drinks pale in comparison.

It’s been quite a handicap, this social terror, for a girl who has relocated four times in the last ten years and tends to change jobs with the seasons. If I grit my teeth I can do quite a convincing extrovert for a bit, but then I get scared and scurry back to the corner. It’s a little like exercising – I enjoy meeting people while I’m doing it and immediately after, and I enjoy the benefits like getting to know someone new and having friends. But if I think about it too much it becomes scary and daunting.

So if I’ve seemed rude, general Brisvegas population, it’s not you, it’s me. Unless you are that awful woman that used to work with B. Then it’s you.




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