Missed it by that much

28 05 2006

B is becoming a liability in the meeting-hot-boy stakes.

There I was, being all cool but casual (mostly because the taxi arrived early and I had to leave the house very quickly) at Ric’s last Thursday, a few beers into the night and no particular worries about going into work late the next day because a) Friday was my last day there, b) my boss was going to be away and c) I am not above milking a family tragedy for a few more hours of sleep – everyone mourns in their own way. Grand Atlantic were pearlers as usual (new album coming out soon), despite sound limits imposed by whiny little tongs who moved into the Valley and then decided the live music and vibrant atmosphere they moved there for kept them up past their prawnhead bedtimes, so keep it down, please, or I’ll have to tell my mummy on you (I know that’s hardly most cutting comment evah, but it’s late and I’m tired so fuck off).

Where was I? Oh yes, grooving and chatting and drinking and exchanging smiles with a floppy haired brooding type who was sitting next to someone whose name I actually knew. In a brief moment of insanity I actually contemplated the possibility that said delectable boy was not married, as everyone in this town over the age of 21 seems to be, or gay, as all the hot boys seem to be (I know it’s a cliche but it keeps being true, which I’ve stopped finding ironic and now just shits me) and I was madly thinking of coversational openers when, lo and behold, B wanted to go home because he was tired and emotional. Not after the band finished and I got to talk to the delectable boy, not even after the band finished, now.

Conversation with boy in my head went something like:

Sherd: Hey, these guys are great, aren’t they? They remind me a bit of Trail Of Dead (or some other random “indie” band. Although they do remind me of Trail of Dead). What do you think?
Delectable Boy: Wow, you are so clever and funny and have large breasts and excellent taste in music. Wanna run away with me and make cute slacker babies together on an organic farm-slash-live music venue?
S: Sure, as long as you agree to uphold my left-wing principles and bring me a cup of tea in bed each morning.*
DB: Sounds grand.

Or something along those lines.

Conversation with boy in reality:
S (to acquaintance sitting near DB): We’re off. Good to see you.
DB (surprised): You’re leaving?
S (regretfully): There goes my ride.**
DB (sadly): Oh.

The end. Lots of love, Sherd. Etc.

Curse my a) complete lack of ability to improv under pressure, b) general incapacitation around cute boys and c) kindhearted brother who lets me tag along with him and K to social thingamies due to lack of actual friends of my own and then gets slagged off in my blog.

He was pretty drunk though. Bastard.

The only thing that cheered me up was being personally farewelled from the stage on the way out. Thanks very much, Sean. Point out how early we are going home to the entire audience. I’m so hot right now.

———————-
* The Duckherder, who is one of my heroes, had this in her wedding vows. Not the bit about the left-wing principles, the bit about the cup of tea. I plan to copy her if I ever get married. Or even vaguely romantically involved.
** While not up there with “I carried the watermelon”, not quite the witty, intelligent one-liner I had hoped for.

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3 responses

29 05 2006
Nabla

Whoa. Tired or grumpy or something? Perhaps if you had mentioned to poor, mistreated B your dilemma he might have been more sympathetic. Also, he is a generous soul and would have given you cab fare home, or to elswhere. By the way, llamas are cool.

29 05 2006
K

I agree Nabla, especially on the last point!

30 05 2006
Miff

On the wedding vow thing – tried to convince Simon of how great that would be if we put ‘cups of tea in bed’ in our wedding vows, or ‘I will love you no matter how often you go to Ikea’ but he wouldn’t buy it! I even offered to let him have something like ‘bringing bottles of beer while in the bath’ or ‘I will love you no matter how many X Box games you own’. Still nothing.I tried to bargain – really I did!

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