Schadenfreude

5 07 2006
Open letter to my old boss

Dear Fuckhead,

Today I heard some news about you. I heard that when you were asked to leave took that opportunity for a more interesting, higher paying job, it was in fact not so interesting and actually much less pay, and you are currently slaving away in the bowels of some large federal government department.

It’s been a while since I thought about your creepy manner and mental instability in more than passing, but much to my annoyance it’s never been without bitterness. You emerge from that murky cloud of horribleness without much more than a bruised ego, and I get to go on feeling all traumatised, disillusioned and shafted by the system. What was the point of making that ruckus when in the end you got to swan off and peddle your brand of narcissistic bullshit to a different audience? You get a pay rise and I get self-exile to another state and six months of admin?*

I’d deal with it by thinking that you know the truth about the crapness of you, and no matter how delusional you are were, nothing changes that. I’d think about the positives that have come out of it, like my professional and personal admiration for and friendship with the Duckherder and Mr Kettle. My very reduced threshold for inappropriate shit in the workplace and the strength and knowledge to speak up about it. As trite as it sounds, a greater understanding of myself.

Still, I couldn’t get rid of that bitterness. It rankled, too, because every time I tried to clear that crap from my mental space, that aftertaste would be the thing stopping it from vanishing.

The level of happiness I experienced after hearing karma did get you in the end was disproportionate and a tad scary.

Suck it, Fuckhead. Fucking suck it.

After the rush passed I felt awful, glorying in your misery, imagining your humiliation. Then I realised life is not always pretty, and I am not always nice. Sometimes, I am downright nasty and full of rage.

And with that, I’m not bitter any more. My rage is gone. I guess that’s why revenge is sweet.

—————————-
* I didn’t actually move to Brisvegas in a fit of pique. However, I did resign in a fit of rage. Which was something of a catalyst for the move. Plus, it felt very fucking cool. I recommend everyone try it at least once. Very empowering.

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16 responses

6 07 2006
GigPig

An Open Letter to My Old BossDear Vapid Barbie Doll,You are a moron. Luckily I made you aware of the extent of your stupidity during the year we spent together. While I am sure that you are still the evil, blood sucking, networking-obsessed bitch you showed yourself to be, I take comfort in the fact that this makes you miserable. May you have an unfortunate encounter with a tram,GigPig.

6 07 2006
GigPig

I now feel good for embracing the spirit of this post. And now wish I had sent this as an email to the aforementioned Barbie Doll.

6 07 2006
Sherd

Feels good doesn’t it? Even though there’s little chance he’ll actually read it, it felt good to get it out there. Actually, reading it again in the cold light of day it’s a bit random and ranty for someone who professes to be all better now, but still, going with the goodness.

6 07 2006
GigPig

For the Barbie to have an unfortunate encounter with a tram would actually make me feel a whole lot better.. Ok, now I would feel bad for wishing it to happen. Stoopid conscience.

6 07 2006
Anonymous

Open letter to My Old BossDear Psycho Redhead, not that I have anything against redheads, in fact some of them are quite nice. But you are a micromanaging psycho with a freaky resemblance to Ossie Osbourne and you suck. May you have an unfortunate encounter with a bus (thanks GigPig, there’s no trams here though).

6 07 2006
Anonymous

This is quite good. I feel happy now.

6 07 2006
Sherd

Is it wrong that I think I know who you are talking about, anon?

6 07 2006
Duckherder

cant help but wonder what the broader context would be for that one (sorry everyone – private Sherdie and Pa Kettle joke)in the probably mis-heard words of the Cat Empire “Long live living, if living can be this!!”yours in superb indulgent and slightly scary but mostly euphoric triumphant ranty fuck you blissthe duck herder

6 07 2006
MadameBoffin

oooh rant meme! Open Letter to My Old BossDear Braindead Automaton,I am amazed that someone with such a fundamental lack of knowledge, completely devoid of anything resembling independent thought and who smelt to boot managed to get to your position. Your brutal regime sucked life and happiness out of everyone unfortunate enough to cross your path. You brought office bureaucracy to heights unseen even by Centrelink and you are a barren wasteland, completely incapable of anything resembling understanding. I’m sure you stole candy from babies and drank kitten tears, you evil bitch.Yours Faithfully,MadameBoffin

6 07 2006
Anonymous

Dear Minions, Fuck you all! I can treat you like shit and you have to put up with it, and all you can do is write on the internet about it.

7 07 2006
GigPig

Dear Anonymous (the last one),Since I am currently spear heading a revolution against my current boss, I wouldn’t be too confident about that!!

7 07 2006
GigPig

Dear Anonymous (the last one),Since I am currently spear heading a revolution against my current boss, I wouldn’t be too confident about that!!

7 07 2006
Sherd

I’d be doubly not confident. ……heh heh.

7 07 2006
Miff

To anon 12.46I think I know who you are talking about too – could this also be my old boss? I feel better just having read your letter, so won’t need to add one myself.

7 07 2006
Bonestorm

Open Letter to My Old BossDear Personification of Evil,I am, at this very moment, formulating your gruesome demise. Not because I’m still mad at you, but because I think you deserve it. Some people join Greenpeace. I’ve decided to do something for the greater good of the world in my own way.So do something meaningful with your last few days. Destroy the hopes and dreams of one last minion if you will. Personally, I recommend retail therapy to take your mind off things. Shopping for your casket has made me as lightheaded as a frolicksome puppy.Bonestorm

8 07 2006
That Guy

Angry Sherd! Italics and all! Damn…can’t imagine it!Anyway, thought I’d join in…Dear Particular Boss Back In Melbourne (of the many I’ve had),You are without a doubt the shonkiest person I’ve ever met. Your band is composed of the only people in town that you haven’t ripped off too much and that don’t want to knife you. Ripping off my latino brothers on cowbell and guiro while you walk away with sometimes 20 times what they are earning is absolutely disgraceful, not to mention the complete lack of shame you have about your personal life. However, as these things go, since you used to give me about three gigs a week, if/when I ever returned to Melbourne, you’d probably be the first guy I’d call.Hope you’re enjoying child at home with partner/girlfriends et al,sincerementeMichael Guy Morales

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