12 12 2006

There’s a thin line stretching from the back of my trusty laptop to the phone jack in the wall. Down it 0s and 1s are trickling, and judging by my current speeds, they are being held up Dilbert style in the section where the cord is hopelessly tangled. Remind me to straighten it out in the morning. Remind me to save my pennies so I can afford broadband. Remind me to learn how to hack into the numerous wireless networks I can see swirling in the air around me.

Whatever, tin lids, I’m back and it’s good to be here. An idle email today asked me how my web-based exhibitionism was going. Slowly, I said. The surly call centre man lied to me. Still, after much time spent inanely repeating “connection problems” into the voice recognition doohickey, and even more time spent listening to shit hold music (honestly, if you’re going to keep people on hold that long, can’t you have MORE THAN THREE SONGS?), a kind soul took pity on me and believed that I wasn’t a moron who was unable to plug the phone cord into the wall correctly, or perhaps heard the desperation in my voice, and sent a TECHNICIAN to investigate and fix… whatever it was that needed fixing.

Why rambling on so long about boringness, Sherd? Have you been away from blogging so long you have forgotten how?

Why, no, but thanks for bringing me to the point. Because I wanted to share the note TECHNICIAN put under my door, viz:

Dear Mrs Sherd,

Problem has been repaired at the BOX, phone should work. If it does not, call OTHER PHONE COMPANY NOT US.



Bless his/her little cotton socks, I say.

This was a day after the gas fixer person managed to sort out the hot water shenanigans. Again, it was something of an uphill battle to convince the world in general and my real estate in particular that I was not some sort of arsehat who, due to the lack of a brain, was unable to understand the connection between lighting the pilot light and having the water be hot.

The gas fixer person left me a note which, all bullshit aside, I found quite charming:

Dear Tenant with gas problems,*

To operate oven, use match, spark or similar to light flame.** For hot water, turn hot water on to full until water heats and then moderate heat ie by mixing in cold water. It’s a little quirky, but practice makes perfect.

Here is my mobile number if you continue to smell gas.***

Hurrah for modern convenience! Hurrah for no more deep breaths and girding one’s loins before rushing under the icy shower! Hurrah for practice making perfect!

* I want a job where I get to write that to people.
** I’m guessing this was just in case I just happened to be right about the gas not lighting but was still some sort of arsehat.
*** Combustible arsehat.




3 responses

12 12 2006

Hurrah for fix-it people leaving notes! you get a lot of notes Sherd, I’m impressed. I’m of the experience of arriving home from work to find stuff magically working again & I say thankyou to the fix it faries. & occasionally have to continue to hassle my usless real estate if in fact the fix-it faries did an arsehat of a job & they need to come again.Anyway, this tin hat is very happy to have you back, I missed you while you ‘bin gone.

12 12 2006

Long time, No see to you too, Sherdie.You teach me some Japanese one word at a time and I’ll teach you some geek, one bit at a time. Howzat?

12 12 2006

Sure, mike, bring on the geek!

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