7 03 2007

Even though the day’s not over yet and so I’m going to tempt fate by saying this, luck was on my side today.

First of all, when I left the house I nearly walked into an enormous, fat spider that had built its web during the night. It was huge, and had yellow bits and grey bits, and hairy legs, and some kind of gaping maw arrangement. And it had clearly decided that the bottom of my stairs at face height was a good place to live.

But I saw it and stopped just in time (with maybe a little shrieky gurgly noise). I carefully pulled some of the web from one side so the fat little bastard creepy-crawled back to the bushes on the other side, then skipped on my merry way.

To see ten bucks lying on the ground. Score! I looked around to see if it had obviously fallen out of someone’s window or something, but it was 7am and there was no-one around. So I decided I’d split it between me and Roy, the Big Issue man, which dealt nicely with any residual feelings of guilt/theft/paranoia about childhood fingerprints being on file (aka the Robin Hood defence).

Fifty metres later there was 20c on the ground. Score again! This time I decided to keep it all for myself. Especially because I bent down to pick it up right behind a car that was reversing towards me! Thanks, mp3 player, for rendering me insensible to any non-visual cues about my external environment! Excellent! A bit of adrenaline to start the day is always a good thing.

When I ducked out to get coffee, I was feeling flush because I had a whole $5.20 to burn. But when I got to the coffee shop, I had enough points on my little card that I got a free coffee, a huge muffin, and amusing confusion from the new coffee man when I tried to swap a coffee for a tea*! Hurrah!

Later in the day, I was on a phone call, being incredibly polite as you can only be when you are locked in a mortal political struggle with someone with much more power than you. I was about to throw the phone across the wall Russell Crowe style when the man who sits diagonally behind me quietly put a stress ball on my desk, neatly saving me from losing my job. Awesome! Although the stress ball took a bit of a beating when I stabbed it repeatedly with my pen. He said I could keep the stress ball after that.

Finally, when I was walking home, it didn’t start to rain until I was at the bottom of my stairs.

And there was no spider.

* “So, you mean, instead of a coffee, you just want a tea?”
“So you don’t want a coffee?”
“You want tea.”




5 responses

6 03 2007

go to sleep now Sherd, that’s clearly enough for one day…

6 03 2007

“It was huge, and had yellow bits and grey bits,” and “… decided that the bottom of my stairs at face height was a good place to live.” This fits the description of a Golden Orb Spider which is very popular around BrisVegas at the moment, especially after the few recent showers. I, too, have one of these near my front door this week.”… and hairy legs” Well this doesn’t really fit. Are you sure about this? Check it out again tomorrow morning. He (actually it will be a she) will be back again, having repaired the web overnight.And I hate to say this Sherdie, but unless you are prepared to part that web every morning for about the next three weeks, you are going to have to go out there with a lump of wood (a cricket bat will do) and bat that spider off into infinity. She’ll hide in the bushes during the day but once she’s decided that the bottom of your stairs at face height is the place to be, she’ll rebuild there every night.

7 03 2007

It is *possible* that I didn’t really have a close look at the spider. I don’t mind ’em too much until there might be chance that they will crawl on my face. But she wasn’t there this morning or tonight. I think she rebuilt in the bushes (much more sensible). Although I find I have developed a new tic that is amusing my neighbours no end – waving my hands in front of my face as I walk up the stairs.

7 03 2007

My neighbours have spotted my tic too. Each morning as I go out to retrieve the newspaper, I lead with the back of my hand. One morning, my neighbour told me he thought I was practicing my Lleyton Hewitt “staring in the face of the cobra” salute.

8 03 2007

Ew ew ew ew ew. Spiders gross me out. I try to give them three chances (cos if it’s going to eat the bugs I’m all for it) – but if it scares me three times (say, by moving) it is squish-o-rama time. Unless husband is about, in which case it becomes dirnking-glass-and-bit-of-cardboard-to-catch-said-spider-with-me-standing-in-another-room-hopping-nervously-from-foot-to-foot-possibly-making-small-squealing-noises time.And can I just add – ewwwww!!

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