Tongue-tied

5 02 2008

Today, as I was riding the lifts, someone I know hopped on.

On a normal day, I’d be able to have a quick chat about whatever, lasting about the time it takes to get to the ground floor.

Today, I knew a thing about the person that I’m not supposed to know. I’ve mentioned before that people tell me things, but generally it’s not an issue. But this time, all I could think was cannot not seem like I know cannot seem like I know cannot seem like I know.

Of course, every sentence I went to start was trying to end up letting them know their mate had spilled the beans. It was so frustrating. I gaped like a fish. I spluttered. I burbled. I made poor recoveries.

“So are you happy about… er… lunch? …Um… I am!”

“When do you get to finish… um… your lunch?”

Really, what I should have done was say, “Hey, your mate told me your good news. Congratulations. I’ll keep it under my hat until you announce it.”

It’s a moot point now, anyway. That person’s now convinced I’m suffering from a mild intellectual disability and if it ever comes up they’ll say, her? She can’t string a sentence together and she’s obsessed with lunch. Why on earth would I worry that you’d told her?

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3 responses

6 02 2008
The Duck Herder

hee hee.

7 02 2008
IHateToast

you have a little prepubescent boy inside you.you better be careful. people might just tell you things just to watch this goldfish deer headlights nervous little boy thing.i would.

7 02 2008
bros

I find that when people tell me things about other people I a) am always interested in the story and b) very rarely actually associate the correct confidential story with the right personwhich saves the dipicted embarrasment, but always means that when it comes time to put money in for a gift and signing the card – it is difficult to know what to write.I usually just write my name.Perhaps you could try that in some cool post modern take on graffiti (in a banksy esque style)just ‘tag’ the person when they are in the lift with you.I recommend a “sharpie” – but don’t leave the lid off. They dry out heaps easy.

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