Once is an accident, twice looks like carelessness

21 02 2008

Let’s get a bit emo for the weekend, shall we?

Over Christmas I had a chat with my (awesome) parents. The topic was my singledom; of course, being the people who made me, they just want to See Me Happy And Looked After (TM).

Which I get. I too would quite like to SMHALA.

So after a lot of thinking and talking to people who know about these things, we’ve drawn the conclusion that perhaps I am a touch broken from my encounters with the romantic side of life.

Not to harp on about this (sorry to the kids that already know how this story ends), but it seems my special talent, not unlike some shithouse B-grade movie or crap Cosmo article*, is to have long and involved relationships with boys, ending somewhat painfully, following which said boys go on to meet the loves of their lives and are, in 100% of cases, currently cohabiting with the partners they met following our respective relationships.

Or (this is where the title comes in), during.

Cue an in-drawing of breath between our collective teeth.

Ouch.

Back to the chat with the parentals. I contend I am unable to do the casual thing (by the by, yes, my parents are so cool they think I should get out there and ‘have fun’). It turns out I am all or nothing, and given the track record, nothing seems to be the safer option. I don’t know when I stopped being able to have a middle ground, but there it is.

I don’t know what my point is, really.

All is fucking scary, perhaps.

Trust is elusive, perhaps.

I need to get over it, perhaps.

And yet. And yet…

———————
* redundant, yes, I know

Advertisements

Actions

Information

14 responses

22 02 2008
mangoman

Now this is not my area of expertise and I know that I have a biased view and that I don’t reeaally understand anything but, given that I can’t actually be physically reached at this time well I will stick my bib in.I have been searching for a spanner lately. It is a special spanner for releasing the lock nut on my angle grinder. I have searched high and low, reorganised the shed, dug around in all of the places I last used the thing. Bloody nothing! I have now bought a replacement – $5.99 Sonntax, 1 size fits all. No, I haven’t found the other one yet, but I have no doubt whatsoever that it will turn up – sometime, somewhere. You see it is around. It does exist. It is simply not available right now.Now blokes are not spanners, I agree, but there may be similarities. They can be useful but only if they can do the job. Using spanners that are not the right one for the job can be very frustrating, even though, at times, you can get by for a while.Casual? No. Relaxed. Yes. Bop along. Get into the system. Contact Sonntax and get a one size fits all that is pretty cheap but will not last too long. All possibilities. But don’t stress. Just enjoy. You will never live this bit again. Enjoy it.

22 02 2008
quizzer

And any statistician will tell you that a sample of two is a useless basis for any conclusions, apart from ‘the sample size is two’. I think you need to increase the sampling on which to base any significant conclusions, or even trends – this is where ‘have fun’ comes in.

22 02 2008
Nabla

I think you’re right about blokes being spanners.And sometimes the spanner that you thought was cheap and and didn’t fit right at first ends up being the best bloody tool you’ve ever owned. You’ll never find that out unless you give it a go, though.And if you grab the wrong one from Bunnings and it slips off the nut while you’re trying to undo the bottom bolt on the water pump and strips all the edges off the nut and smashes your knuckles against the block and F#$KING WHORE C#%T WHO THE F*&K PUTS IT THERE ANYWAY!!!…..*well, then you wipe off the blood and get the right one. It’s stops hurting pretty much just after you finish swearing at stuff.Cool – the word verification is “shagogr”.(*learned that one one from mangoman – took me years to figure out what a “hooercaant” was.)

22 02 2008
gigpig

I have been Officially Identified as a Drop Kick Magnet in a number of carefully controlled particpant observation experiments (Ursh et al: 2008). There are somethings much, much worse than being a Couple-er.

22 02 2008
mskp

can i just say that this is the MOST adorable comments thread i have seen in an age?no wonder you have trouble finding the right spanner – look at the bloody wonderful men in your family! i say keep your standards high and the mountain will come to mohammad.xx

22 02 2008
mangoman

You must be out of town. I thought I may have been dealt with by now. Anyway, a story.Mate or mine informed me once that she was a ‘bloke trainer’. Seems that she took busted, yobbo and otherwise hopeless individuals and turned them into acceptable partners with a reasonable line in attitudes, ideas and behaviour. Cleaned them up so to speak.As soon as she had them scrubbed up though she found that they were a little boring. They toddled off, found the loves or their lives and were happy. Wouldn’t have happened without her training.I have lost touch with her so I don’t know whether she is still in there training them up. For the good of the hopeless the world over – or at least in a little bit of Darwin – I like to think so.

25 02 2008
Mike

…well if blokes are spanners does that mean that all girls are nuts?……From someone whos love life has generally resembled your own, maybe the inbetween bit just hasn’t come along yet.x

26 02 2008
The Duck Herder

from one all or nothing duck to another, tell Mangoman to bugger off with his el cheapo one spanner fits all nonsence – they just break and you end up grazing your knuckles. Quality sherd, quality. anhoo, two things:1) you get what you settle for2) don’t settle little rocket – no crumbs from the table for you my sweet! The ultimate Rocket Wrench, while perhaps not perfect in all mechanical situations, will indeed, be clearly identifiable by its propensity to be just perfect for most sherdie type situations (well mostly anyhoo, with a bit of tinkering and once you get used to it ‘n all)and as for the other one – amebas on fleas on dogs. much love to youtdh

26 02 2008
Saturday Night Fiver

For what it’s worth (and being someone in a similar position to your good self), I agree with the Duck Herder.To use another equally ludicrous analogy: why drink mid-strength larger when you’re drinking to get pissed? Passion is immoderate consumption.

26 02 2008
Sherd

Food (/drink) for thought indeed, thanks all. You know, I’m having a bit of a moment – how does a girl get so lucky as to have such a mob of awesome people to have discussions with? And is it any wonder I’m not in a rush to shack up with whoever when I’m surrounded by such loveliness & cleverness & random analogies as you lot?

26 02 2008
Saturday Night Fiver

Lager, obviously.

27 02 2008
Sherd

Obviously.

27 02 2008
Miff

yes yes, Mangoman is very wise and lovely, etc etc, but has no one else been madly giggling about men being tools and having tight nuts? bwah ha ha ha haaaa!This is probably the cold & flu tablets talking… but probably not. (^_^)

27 02 2008
Miff

Oh, and as quizzer points out – what is the statistical significance of having a sample size of two? not very scientific Sherds. I expected more from you…..tools and tight nuts….hee hee!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: